Spitfire, the second track on Brankholm Brae, is bound to be a TwinsTown classic. It’s the most rockin’ number on the forthcoming debut album; you can rock out on it and order a pizza to it. It’s universally good, no holds barred, rock ‘n’ roll. I liken it to Primal Scream in their pomp.
Lovable, easy-going Double Trouble and the boys are uncharacteristically spoiling for a showdown. You can actually hear the Spitfire overhead while they enlist Winston Churchill to the cause.
Asking Donald about Spitfire he replied, “I’d rather Nazi,” and this perfectly explains why I usually just make quotes up.
Brankholm Brae, TwinsTown’s stunning debut album to be released this year, featuring Spitfire, the anti-Nazi classic.
I’m sitting in the flat above Tappie Toories, thinking about Stuart Adamson writing Big Country songs up here. Now I’m thinking if Harry doesn’t arrive soon we’ll be doing the interview doon The Glen or on the benches opposite The Old Inn. It’s 5.15pm and I’m lonely. Now I’m wondering if we can have a drink outside after six. I think we can but only until a minute past midnight on boxing day.
This is 2020. Five days before Christmas. I had a braw lunch at The Carnock Inn today. Steak pie with two tins of Irn Bru. My social inhibitions have not been lowered for a very long time. News just in, Police Scotland have no plans to establish checkpoints or road blocks at the border. Now I see Celtic celebrating the quadruple treble in an empty stadium. Despite setting his lawyers on the BBC, Tyson Fury is still in the running for Sports Personality of the Year. You couldn’t really make this up.
Where is Harry!?
News just in, Harry’s daughter Frankie is finishing her ice cream. I fetch the tins from the fridge. It’s the benches for us.
Harry the big bad bassist bangs the door. The lights on Bruce Street are beautiful reminding me things could be worse. Thankfully TwinsTown are Covid-19 free. Cree Spowart who lives on Bruce Street told me this year’s lights are a tribute to Dunfermline’s weaving industry. My mum left school to help with the war effort and became a weaver at 15 years of age.
Anyway, the twins in TwinsTown keep telling me they’re in a rock ‘n’ roll band and I need to make them appear all rock ‘n’ roll. That means less blethering pish about whatever. Well, I say twins, Donald is the particular one. Stuart doesn’t give a monkey’s what I write.
“Right Harry, what’s rock ‘n’ roll about you?”
He looks surprised. I’ve surprised myself. I’m angry.
“C’mon then,” I continue, “sitting on a bench at the corner of Maygate and Kirkgate drinking a can of Tennents, rock ‘n’ roll, aye!?”
“Fuck AYE!” he replies.
“You should be in Tappies now, playing to a heaving crowd of 114, or at least a polite, sanitised, socially distanced, reduced capacity 25 all enjoying table service, with both doors open for maximum ventilation. Do you feel robbed?”
“Aye, totally, but we’ll think of a funnier answer than that.”
Ten minutes later…
“I’ve no funny answer, but as a serious answer, I do feel frustrated. We have an album [Brankholm Brae] in production and limited opportunity to promote it.”
Harry braved the cold, scooped a bottle of wine, and told me his role on Brankholm Brae is bass guitarist, and occasionally lead guitar. His favourite bass line is Dive In, an upbeat track about bouncing back after heartache.
“I tried to add texture to Dive In’s bass line by avoiding first position root notes and aiming for greater complexity, whilst keeping it true to the spirit of the song,” explained Harry.
Wow, the wine is potent.
Harry goes on, “I like playing Bed Bugs on a high register. It’s not difficult but it’s fun to play. As is Say Goodbye to the Summer, where no one complains when I crank up the distortion pedal.”
Harry’s catchphrase is “flare it!” as he is notorious for flaring his guitar pedals, anytime, anywhere, any angle, and any song.
Harry loves recording in the studio. It’s obvious. Yet his shyness kicks in.
“This is going to sound like a Mr. Men book,” complains Harry as he clams up.
“What Mr. would you be, Harry?”
“Mr. Flare It!” Harry fires back.
His shyness gone, he shows me his new tattoo. ‘Flare It!’ on his chest. Mark, Stuart and Donald have the same. It’s male bonding gone bananas.
Hoping for a hard-hitting question, “I hear you’re a big fan of Danny Dyer, is this true?” I ask.
“No, I prefer Sean Bean, in Sharpe, and Ronnie Scotland.”
In other important matters, I wonder who is Harry’s favourite Tappies bar tender. Apparently, it’s Shaunski aka Shaun Manuel Mitchell who was famously hospitalised after falling off the monkey bars in a local swing park.
We’ve been sat on these benches for three hours. I’m freezing. We’ve had a few drinks. You can probably tell.
“We need a sensible finish,” I suggest, hopefully.
“We didn’t finish talking about my favourite track. It’s Spitfire. I get to show off my guitar skills on it,” replies Harry, “and I totally flared it!”
I can’t call you Smackay! What’s your real name? S. Mackay.
I see. Do your pals lack ingenuity? My brother is called Hornet ‘cos he has yellow stripes on his black trainers.
I see. Anyway why are you in the news? My band TwinsTown are releasing a debut album sometime, called Brankholm Brae, and I’m a rockin’ machine.
Are you sure you’re not a ‘rocket’ machine? No, no, “rockin’ machine” for sure. I don’t know who came up with “rocket machine” in our lyrics.
Ever heard of plausible deniability? Yes, and I’m using it to the max, so shut yer pus!
Moving on. Are you really a direct descendant of Winston Churchill? No, our idiotic PR man made that up for a laugh.
Does he do that often… actually, don’t answer that. Just tell me why? I impersonate Winston Churchill on Spitfire, the opening track of Brankholm Brae.
And this is when you’re a rocket… Rockin’ I said.
Sorry. What makes the track such a stand out? Ask the customers and staff at The Istanbul, Dunfermline. That night you bought us one too many at Raffles, we premiered the track with an impromptu performance whilst ordering a pizza at the same time. It’s on video.